The Process of Breaking a Sistah © 2004
A reaction to Willie Lynch letter
by Malika Halima Amada (vonetta t. rhodes)
i wanted to lose my life when i escaped with you,
for they wanted me spiritually dead too.
Whips lashed across my back.
shouting my name,
but there was no looking back.
i wanted a future with you.
i was running toward our destiny.
i believed in our love.
i knew that the stars of above would lead us east.
back home.
to Afrika.
i knew they caught us sometimes,
and whipped you until you was through,
my womb laid raped and barren,
and i believe that was the point when i began not to understand you.
Why didn't we keep running?
Why was it so hard just to keep on running?
Why didn't you grab my hand when i tried to pick you up
and just.. keep.. running?
Breathe, baby,
just at least let me know that you are still alive,
and i'll run for us both,
as far as my life will take us.
If there are hiding places,
i will burrow.
If there are underground railroads,
I will conduct.
i will follow.
i will train.
i will trek.
If there are boats,
i will sail
or i will just swim lap after lap for us..
Drinking in the oceans of our dreams of being whole again..
Enjoying the coolness of the memories of our Original destination.
i know that you are bloody and scarred,
but if you have any vision left over,
do you at least see my shadow?
Can you tell that i have beautiful brown skin?
Do you remember my lips are plump and plush
and filled with maroon syllables of our love language?
Do you still like to stare at my hips
and reminisce on our future babies and not rapist-type activities?
i don't understand... you.anymore.
i used to be all the Nation you was looking for.
i was the Mother and the Land.
Now sometimes i am the object of your angry hands,
and the reason behind your insanity.
i am not a wench with problems,
i still am me.
And my soul is longing for your touch.
My tongue is thirsty
from wanting to taste you so much.
We used to feast on life,
now there's just table scraps and dust,
i don't why i
unconsciously destroy
and then consciously edify us..
With this nullification,
is there really a chance for us?
Or did Ol' Massa Lynch really succeed with us..?
